Meru's Dancing Lessons
by Mizu no Kokoro
Summary: Meru's horrid dance lessons! Mwhahahaa! Time for some ballet. Rose is back from the dead! Chapter , the dance has gotten even MORE insane! No flying mooose or rotten cheese but hope for laughs anywasy! :D :D!
1. Prologue

Meru's Dancing Lessons  
  
Prologue  
  
Meru was standing impatiently in the large studio in Seles, newly built after the battle. Meru was excited the moment Dart and Shana had come and visited her at the forest telling her the good news.  
  
*******  
  
"Dart! Shana!" Meru cried as she saw them enter through the entrance. Her magic wing sprouted form her back as she flew down to greet them.  
  
The three friends embraced affectionately.  
  
"I didn't expect to see you here!" Meru laughed. "I thought you were busy with the construction of Seles."  
  
"We were!" Shana said, smiling. "But we decided to come and visit an old friend." Meru did a little twirl, waving her arms.  
  
"I'm not OLD!"  
  
Dart laughed at the bemused expression on Meru's face. "No of course not."  
  
"You should stay out of this Dart!" Meru said with some exasperation. "Don't tell me you're just here to visit, there's something else!"  
  
Dart and Shana exchanged a mysterious glance. "We have a surprise for you Meru!"  
  
Meru glared back in definitely, well, surprised. "Really?!" She cried exultantly. "What?"  
  
Dart smiled. "Well, it was Shana's idea really. She thought it might be nice if we built a dancing studio in Seles, the kids could learn to dance form an expert and liven the place up."  
  
"We would like you to come and be the instructor at the studio." Shana added. "Would that be okay?"  
  
Meru blinked, ruby eyes sparkling with exuberance. "Would that be okay?" She repeated slowly. "It would be more than okay, it'll be WONDERFUL!!" She began to, being a dancer, dance around jubilantly, graceful, funny and sporty, all with expert ease.  
  
"I take that as a yes?" Dart chuckled.  
  
Meru smiled. "You bet it is. When do we start?"  
  
"As soon as you want to and can. We'll head back to Seles and start!" Shana said happily, clapping her hands. "Everyone's coming, Miranda, Haschel, Kongol, perhaps Albert if he has the time to spare."  
  
Meru laughed. "I'd like to see Kongol dance."  
  
Dart desisted his laughter, the smile dropped and turned to fear. "You don't mean."  
  
"Yes, I do. I'm gonna teach all of you guys to dance. Now that you've hired me as a teacher, you all will be my pupils." Meru insisted. "Besides, it's good to be graceful like me, the most beautiful dancer in the Endiness!"  
  
Dart opened his mouth to speak, but Shana's elbow jamming into his side stopped him.  
  
"That'll be great!" Shana exclaimed, covertly jabbing Dart again. "We'd love to!"  
  
"Speak for yourself." Dart muttered, groaning as Shana jabbed him yet again.  
  
"What did ya say?" Meru yelled, cupping a hand to her ear. "Say it louder!"  
  
"I said- Ouch!" Dart began, then rubbed his head in pain as Shana forcefully threw a pebble at him. "What was that for?"  
  
Shana had a look of innocence, "Oh, there was this fly on your head, I wanted to help shoo it away." She pulled the corner of her mouth, trying to hint something.  
  
Dart rubbed his head in pain, muttering. "Try shooing in a way that doesn't involve pain."  
  
Meru stared at them in an unreadable expression.  
  
"Meru!" A voice called.  
  
They all turned to see Guaraha flying down from the teleporter to meet them.  
  
"Hey Guaraha!" Meru yelled, waving her arms. When Guaraha landed she leaped onto his back and hugged his neck.  
  
"Whoa! Meru? What are you doing?" Guaraha asked, trying to pry Meru's arms from his neck. "Aargh, I can't breathe!" He said in a choking voice.  
  
Meru jumped off and slapped him hard on the back, almost knocking him over. "Don't be silly! Meru said, smiling and looked at Dart and Shana, who were regarding her in a bemused expression.  
  
"You could have killed me!" Guaraha panted.  
  
Meru laughed. "Of course not! I'm not that cruel!" She began dancing around him in circles. "Nope! I'm not! And I'm going to teach people how to dance like Mmmeee!! Isn't that great?"  
  
"It's good to see you all again. Is Meru really going to teach dance? Her words are sort of hard to believe when she acts like that."  
  
"It's true!" Meru pouted. "Fine, don't believe me then."  
  
"Well, we best leave as soon as possible." Dart said heading out the entrance.  
  
Meru began to follow, then came and tugged at Guaraha's arm. "Come with me! I can teach you to dance too!" Guaraha smiled, but shook his head. "No. I have things to finish up here. When I'm done I'll go find you."  
  
Meru put on a cute puppy face. "Plleasse?" Guaraha smiled again. "I promise to come find you okay?"  
  
"Fine, you know where Seles is, right?" Meru asked.  
  
Guaraha nodded. "Of course. Now go."  
  
Meru walks and gives Guaraha a big hug, and a peck on the cheek before following Shana out the entrance of the forest.  
  
*******  
  
Meru sighed. Everyone was supposed to be here already, but no one was.  
  
Then the studio door opened, in comes Miranda, Haschel, Kongol, Shana and Dart.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Shana said. Meru laughed. "Not at all. Now, let the lessons begin!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Well, that was bad, It's hard to write something funny in this form, so I'm changing the script form on the next chappie. It's not at all FUNNY right now, but hopefully it'll be better in my next chapter. It's gonna be HILARIOUS! Well, don't expect an update too soon, I'm working more on my other story(no plural, since there's only one other so far), 'When the Legend began: The Dragon Campaign! Plz read that one! And review! Later plp!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own LOD, don't own the character, or anything like that. Although I do own the private lessons Meru is(and I emphasize IS) going to give. Well, that's all I have to say. Buh-bye! 


	2. Lesson 1

Dancing Lessons  
  
Lesson 1: Getting started  
  
A/N: Here it is! Dancing Lesson #1! Yipee! Don't own LOD, all this is just the result of my overly active imagination, plz do not sue me!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Meru: Yeeeeee.!!! * high pitched scream *  
  
Dart: What was that for? * rubbing ears * Completely uncalled for.  
  
Meru: I'm just so exited and HAPPY!!  
  
Kongol: Kongol not like Wingly when happy.  
  
Shana: It's good to be happy.  
  
Dart: Not like that.  
  
Miranda: *#@^ !!! What the hell?!  
  
Meru: Miranda! No swearing in MY dance class! * Adapts superior tone of voice *  
  
Miranda: * Quietly * @*^_* ...  
  
Dart: Well, I'll be leaving now. Shana, have a great time! * runs away *  
  
Meru: Oh no you don't! * pulls Dart back by the ear * Your staying until you could do a perfect 360 degree spin in the air as well as the splits!  
  
Dart: O.o NONONONONONONO !!!!!! Hhheelllppp meee!!  
  
Kongol: Kongol not like Dart when happy either.  
  
Shana: That would be.. Interesting to see Meru.  
  
Haschel: Well now, what did I miss.  
  
Miranda: Nothing! God dammit you're late!  
  
Haschel: .I know.  
  
Shana: Any particular reason?  
  
Haschel: .I dunno.  
  
Meru: He's getting old! And slow.  
  
Dart: Yea, can't expect too much out of the old man. * pats Haschel on the back *  
  
Haschel: Eh. * Evil grin, grabs Dart's hand and twisted it hard *  
  
Dart: X_* Oowww! You broke my hand!! Now I can't dance. * whispers* Thanks Haschel!  
  
Meru: Who cares, you don't need your hands in my dance class anyways. Chop 'em off for all I care.  
  
Dart: *@*#!!  
  
Shana: Dart! How could you say such a word?!  
  
Miranda: * sly grin * The boy's getting' to be more like me.  
  
Albert: And I'm pretty sure it's not a very good thing.  
  
Miranda: Whaddya say you *@&^# !!!!  
  
Meru: Yo AL! You took yer beauty time to get here didn't ya? I don't like waitin' ya know? * narrow eyes *  
  
Albert: Well, you see. I had to attend to a meeting which took-  
  
Meru: Blah blah blah and yaddy yaddy yea blah! You're LATE! No excuses! * grabs stunning hammer and spanks Albert ** WHAM! *  
  
Albert: T.T  
  
Dart: That's gotta hurt.  
  
Haschel: Maybe for months.  
  
Shana: The poor king.  
  
Miranda: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Meru: You too Miranda! For swearing in class! * WHAM! *  
  
Miranda: + .V Shana: I've never seen such a face before.  
  
Kongol: Kongol not like that face.  
  
Haschel: Kongol! How did you get here? Last time I saw you, you were trying out the crouching chiken stance then you fell into the sea.  
  
Kongol: Me swim all the way here.  
  
Dart: Impressive.  
  
Albert: Indeed, it must have been a record.  
  
Haschel: You seemed to have recovered rather fast your Majesty.  
  
Albert: Yes, My arse seemed to have gone completely numb, I don't feel abit of pain.  
  
Shana: ..Is that a good thing?  
  
Albert: Depends on the different perspectives.  
  
Shana: Oh. So what about Miranda?  
  
Albert: She is either very lucky or unlucky.  
  
Shana: I see.  
  
Miranda: Whadija say about me!?  
  
Meru: Pipe down Miranda! Or do you want another spankin' ?  
  
Miranda: Sorry madame.  
  
Meru: No French in class! * WHAM! *  
  
Miranda: @_X * knocked out cold*  
  
Dart: What do you have against French?  
  
Meru: * Death Glare *  
  
Dart: Hit me. Hit me PLEASE!!  
  
Meru: Nope.  
  
Dart: * Relived yet disappointed * Why not? So no punishment? Meru: I didn't say that. Double class time!  
  
Dart: NONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!! * continues on for ten more minutes *  
  
Albert: Not bad, that might have also been a record.  
  
Kongol: Kongol think Dart have bad singing voice.  
  
Shana: I agree completely. See what I have to live with?  
  
Meru: So? Who told you to marry him?  
  
Shana: Um.We're not exactly married.  
  
Miranda: * jumps up suddenly * What?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?! *runs over to Dart, grabs him and starts French kissing him *  
  
Shana: . * stares at the two make-out *  
  
Meru: I SAID NO FRENCH !!!! * whacks both Dart and Miranda *  
  
Dart: V . *  
  
Miranda: - . @  
  
Haschel: Such interesting faces.  
  
Albert: Perhaps another record? I'll have to look it up later.  
  
Meru: Sheesh! Look at the time!  
  
Haschel: Where? * looks around *  
  
Meru: Just imagine it!  
  
Kongol: Kongol have bad imagination.  
  
Shana: Poor Knogol.  
  
Albert: How very sad . another record?  
  
Meru: WUT'S WITH YOU AND RECORDS ?!!  
  
Albert: * Tries to look innocent * So very sorry.  
  
Haschel: Calm Meru. Take deep breaths. Slow.  
  
Meru: * Takes deep breath* Hey, it works!  
  
Shana: I suppose we can't start until these two * Accidently kicks Dart* wake up.  
  
Meru: I suppose. We'll wait.  
  
Kongol: Kongol no like wait.  
  
Meru: Yea, well, too BAD! We're waiting'.  
  
A/N: That the first chapter after the prologue, hope it waz funny enough. Reviews would be VERY VERY muche appretiated ! So R&R, and have a nice day!! 


	3. Lesson 2

Meru's Dancing Lessons  
  
Lesson 2 : Let's do ballet !  
  
A/N: The second chapter, are you ready for some ballet?! Yea! Eeekkk! Horrors of dancing! I dunno nothing about ballet, so be patient with me, okay? R&R! Don't forget. * Serious face *  
  
Meru: Up up! Wake up! * Jumps and dances around and over Dart and Miranda, prodding them with her hammer *  
  
Shana: That won't work, you have to go like this * Yanks D art up by the hair *  
  
Dart: Ooww! * Sleeptalks * No mom, just a few more minutes. * Falls asleep *  
  
Shana: It usually works, guess I'll have to find some other method to execute it's full potential. On the other hand. * Goes to Miranda * Long hair can be very painful when pulled.  
  
Kongol: Kongol not understand human King.  
  
Meru: Yea! Hair is hair, what's the difference?  
  
Albert: Well, if you insist. I will demonstrate on our friend here, the lovely Sacred Sister Miranda!  
  
Crickets chirping   
  
Albert: Oh whatever. Where's the drumroll? Applauses? C'mon PEOPLE!  
  
Meru: *throws a book at Albert * Shut up A1! And get in with the demonstration.  
  
Albert: here goes. * Pulls Miranda's blond hair *  
  
Miranada: * Glares at Albert * YOU LITTLE! @#$%^ *Punches Albert square in face *  
  
Albert: X_O  
  
Haschel: Ho ho, that's gotta hurt.  
  
Meru: Miranda you bad girl! No swearing and hurting people in MY dance class.  
  
Miranda : Like I give a !@#$.  
  
Shana: You should, 'cause you haven't done so in quite a while. Kongol: Kongol not want to know what mean.  
  
Haschel: Eeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!  
  
Meru: * Grows ten times in size with blazing background * I SAID NO SWEARING, NO HURTING PEEPS AND NO SARCASTIC REMARKS REGARDING ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE TOILET! AM I UNDERSTOOD?  
  
Haschel: Yes, very well indeed!  
  
Miranda: Yadda  
  
Shana: Absolutely.  
  
Kongol: Wingly big.  
  
Meru: Yea. I DON"T LIKE BIG THOUGH * shrinks back* Muche better!  
  
Albert:What did I mess?  
  
Meru: NAMUCHE.  
  
Haschel: How's the face?  
  
Albert: Bloody nose, broken probably. One of my eyes exploded completely from the impact, but I can still see.  
  
Kongol: That not good.  
  
Meru: Eh well. You look demented but still healthy enough to do ballet.  
  
Albert: Ballet? * Start cough, gagging, wheezing, and etc. *  
  
Meru: Suck it up! I know you're faking!  
  
Shana: What kind of ballet?  
  
Meru: Hhmm.Either the Swan Lake or the Nutcracker.  
  
Haschel: But we still need to wake dart up.  
  
Miranda: Ooohh.He's so cute when asleep.  
  
Meru: Miranda! Stay on topic! You can have it with him later. Not now  
  
Shana: Whtat?!  
  
Haschel: Life's tough Shana. Accept it. Besides Miranda is a better fighter anyhow.  
  
Shana: .U TRAITORS! * Runs away *  
  
Meru: Haschel you dope! There goes our only lead dancer!  
  
Haschel: You can get another one you know.  
  
Kongol: Kongol tired. I sit. * Sits on Dart *  
  
Dart: * Screams * gag! GET THIS GIGANTO ODDA ME!!  
  
Albert: Why did n't we think of that before?  
  
Dart: 8 Crawls out from under Kongol * Oh.my. gawd.  
  
Meru: * Throws Dart some ballet tights * Wear this.  
  
Dart: Why?  
  
Meru: Do you guestion my authority? Either that or a tootoo!  
  
Dart: Oh fine.  
  
Meru: Okay. Since we've lost our lead dancer, Shana. We'll be doing the nut cracker.  
  
Haschel: We still don't have a lead dancer for that one either.  
  
Meru: Listen! Don't question! Nutvracker! Dart as the Nutcracker.  
  
Dart: Why me?  
  
Meru: 'Cause I said so. Now. Heck, I can't even remember the charater names myself. Oh whatever, I'll make 'em up. The sweet innocent girl whose's grandpa gave her the nutcracker, I'll call her Rosaline.  
  
Dart: You're kidding.  
  
Meru: Nope. I'm not going to be in this play so. It can't be me. Not Miranda, I have another part for her.  
  
Miranda: * Mutters *  
  
Haschel: I'll do the part!  
  
Dart: Plz don't!  
  
Meru: haschel. Haschel. There are so many points I could point out WHY NOT, and none why.  
  
Haschel: Well, you're out of people. No other female that I know of.  
  
Albert: I know one.  
  
Haschel: And who would that be? Emille? I think not.  
  
Albert: Lisa.  
  
Meru: Eh. No.  
  
Lloyd: Miss Lenus.  
  
Meru: Hell! She'd dead! And you are not suppose to be heve! And you're dead TOO!  
  
Lioyd: So demanding.  
  
Meru: You didn't sigh up, get out.  
  
Lloyd" I'm hurt. * Walks off dejectedly *  
  
Mery: that's settled. Okey, our lead dancer.  
  
Dart: Oh! Who is it?  
  
Meru: * Grin * Can ya guess.  
  
Dart: is she a cute chick?  
  
Meru: You can, Ah, that's up to you. It's someone really close you.  
  
Dart: Me?  
  
Shana: Youu have ANOTHER?! Why you Son of a !@#$%  
  
Miranda: He has?! !@#$%^&  
  
Haschel: Amen to that ^.^  
  
Albert: Haschel!  
  
Dart: I don't have anyone else! I swear on my life!  
  
Meru: Hehehe, you're gonna remember her alright.  
  
Dart: Really?! Is she cute?  
  
Meru: Guess you nitwit dolt!  
  
Dart: Um, geez I don't know any girls that much.  
  
Meru: * roll eyes * You are so STUPID! I 'll give youu a clue. Ah, she fought with us.  
  
Dart: with or against.  
  
Meru: WITH!  
  
Dart: .No way. Really?! Ohmygawd!  
  
~ * ~ * ~ A/N: Yea! I love cliff hangers! You peeps in suspense? Hehehe, y'all probably guess who the 'chick' is. If not, next chapter peeps! Tune in! And review! 


	4. Lesson 3

Meru's Dancing Lessons  
  
Lesson 3: Who wears or what?!  
  
A/N: I've finally gotten around to this! All thanks to those who have shown their support, and it's because of you guys I've decided to continue the lessons. If you're reading this right now, please don't forget to review. When I don't receive feedback, I lose inspiration, so be nice and review! All hugs and kisses! ThanQ veri muche!  
  
Also, thanks to:  
  
Omni Dragon: Glad you liked it! Although it's been quite a while, I hope you'll keep reading!  
  
Neo: Chapter 3? Well, chapter 4 is up just for you to enjoy! Have fun reading!  
  
Aerena: Heh, Dart is a really BAD boy. keep reviewing? Plz?  
  
Kaylee: Meru is one of my favourite characters too! Next to Rose of course ^.^ She's all spunk!  
  
Minimidget: Okey. use some Asprin. And yea, my ideas are ALL weird ^_-.  
  
Serenade: 05: Oh please, don't sue me if you drop dead from lack of oxygen! *runs away*  
  
Red-Eye Frenzy: Request granted! You got my e-mail right? And yup, it's Rose!  
  
Megan Colby aka Meru1023: Oh c'mon! Swearing is fuunnn. okay fine, I'll limit it a little so it doesn't offend too many people. Lloyd is dead, yup, and I don't intend to bring him into the lessons, unless people request it. Don't worry, Meru'll feel better when everyone starts dancing.  
  
~~*~~*~~  
  
Haschel: It's Claire right?  
  
Meru: *slaps forehead* no old man! Take a hint!  
  
Albert: Hmm. I wonder.  
  
Meru: It's Rose! People! Rose, as in the Darkness Dragon!  
  
All: *silence*  
  
Dart: *cough* Ahem! *cough*  
  
Miranda: One teeny tiny problem Meru, about having Rose as a dancer.  
  
Meru: What?  
  
Miranda: She's DEAD.  
  
Haschel: Tuttut! Such negative attitude.  
  
Miranda: I don't see you with a better answer.  
  
Albert: Let's be rational, Rose is DEAD.  
  
Miranda: I just said that!  
  
Dart: Um. how do you intend to have Rose, um, raised from the dead?  
  
Miranda: Yes I did!  
  
Dart: No you didn't!  
  
Albert: Puh-leez, Rose is DEAD!  
  
Dart & Miranda: We just said that!  
  
Meru: People that don't listen! Look, I KNOW Rose is DEAD, you all would if I threw a bomb in your faces! So shut-up!  
  
All: ???  
  
Meru: Forget it.  
  
Kongol: ?  
  
Meru: Whatever. *mutters* Bibidibobidiboo! *POOF*  
  
Rose: Ohmygawd! I'm back again? *looks disappointed*  
  
Haschel: *gasp* How did she do that?  
  
Dart: Rose?!  
  
Rose: What?  
  
Meru: *claps* Heehehe! I did it! Rosie is back!  
  
Albert: Ah. how.  
  
Meru: Ask no questions or Speedos for you!  
  
Albert: . ... what's with the toothpick?  
  
Meru: You are really pushing it Al!  
  
Albert: *shuts up* *goes to the changing room*  
  
Haschel: Hohoho! What shall I be O-mighty Wingly?  
  
Meru: *scratches head* Santa Claus?  
  
Dart: really? I never knew he was in Nutcracker.  
  
Haschel: I'm old, but not THAT old!  
  
Rose: *smirk* oh really?  
  
Meru: Oh yea! It was the Sugar Plume Fairy! How could I forget? *smile*  
  
Haschel: Oh man, that's even worse. Now I'm going to be fat, small, with wings and in a dress. Instead of fat, big and with a red and white suit.  
  
Meru: Ya got that right grandpa! Here ya go! *gives Haschel a puffy dance dress, a tuty two plastic wings and wand*  
  
Haschel: *sigh* At least I get a wand. *goes to changing room*  
  
Meru: Yay! Everything's going good! Now, Rose!  
  
Rose: I would rather be dead again.  
  
Meru: You'd like your part! You get to be a innocent and cute little girl!  
  
Rose: Yippee. next time, bring me back form the dead for a more URGENT reason.  
  
Meru: Too bad. Hey, my happiness IS urgent!  
  
Rose: where the hell is Shana? She should be doing this, not me.  
  
Meru: She gets another part, WHEN she comes back that is. *glares at Dart*  
  
Rose: *glares at Dart* I see. You and your way of dealing in relationships. Pathetic!  
  
Dart: Whatever! I didn't start the fire! Hey! There's a song that goes: I didn't start the fire, Elvis goes to Disney land! Mickey Mouse does Tae- kwan-do! Everything is outta control! I didn't start the fire!  
  
Rose: Shut up Dart!  
  
Meru: Wear this Rose! *throws a night dress at Rose!  
  
Rose: *stares* as if.  
  
Meru: It's better than mini skirts and dancing tights right?  
  
Rose: You've got a point. *leaves*  
  
Kongol: Kongol no dance.  
  
Meru: um, it's gonna be hard for a Giganto. How about you help me with stage afftects?  
  
Kongol: I help wingly.  
  
Meru: Alrite! Here's your Spandex Dart!  
  
Dart: O.O WHAT? I thought I was a Nutcracker! Not. that - wearing - .!!!  
  
Meru: Poor Darty. well, I gave the only dance military costume to Albert! *throws Spandex at Dart* Wear it or die!  
  
Dart: T.T. *leaves*  
  
Miranda: *is back in freaky dress, tiara, also rat costume* I'm SO NOT enjoying this!  
  
Meru: /.\ Hahahah! You look absolutely hilarious! Hahaahhaha!  
  
Miranda: . -.- let's just get this stupid play OVER WITH!  
  
Albert: I must say, this uniform is just. NOT proper. It's SO tight!  
  
Meru: *shrug* I picked size XS, maybe it's a bit too small.  
  
Albert: O.o You think?  
  
Meru: Hello! It was meant for a RAT!  
  
Haschel: Grrr. I've never been so humiliated in my entire life! *in puff dress tutu, and waving a wand*  
  
Meru: Hmm.. Something's not right.  
  
Haschel: Oh, really.  
  
Meru: I know! *puts fruit covered hat on Haschel's head*  
  
Haschel: V.V I feel SO much better.  
  
Rose: Oh, and you think YOU look bad.  
  
All: *gasp and stare*  
  
Rose: what age did you have in mind when you chose this dress? *night dress was like a skimpy dress for prom dance, ends at upper thigh and is VERY tight*  
  
Meru: Um. 12?  
  
Rose: *rolls eyes* No wonder.  
  
Albert: it's not much of a change from what you usually wear.  
  
Rose: *glare* Say that again and I'll slice you to pieces!  
  
Meru: Now now, be nice to each other in MY dance class! Where the hell is that Dart? Is it THAT hard to put on a spandex?  
  
Dart: Ever tried? *wearing black spandex*  
  
All: O.O oh mygawd!  
  
Miranda: I never knew you had a six pack.  
  
Rose: I don't wanna know.  
  
Albert: Wanna see mine?  
  
Meru: Show off later! Now let's dance!  
  
Shana: Whao! Did I miss anything?  
  
Meru: Shana! You're back! *starts to choke her* you COULD OF SAVED ME THE TROUBLE OF BRING ROSE BACK FROM THE DEAD YOU FOOL!  
  
Shana: X.O gag! Sorry!  
  
Meru: whatever, now that you're back, put on this dress and tutu, you get another part instead. *throws dress and tutu at Shana* You'll be the poisoned princess.  
  
Shana: Okayy?  
  
Meru: Just put it on!  
  
Shana: T.T *leaves*  
  
Meru: Alrite! We'll start as soon as she comes back!  
  
~~*~~*~~  
  
A/N: Heehee. I lag again. I promise there'll be more dancing in the next chapter! All props ready, the play is ready to begin! Stay tuned next time for the wonderful Nutcracker! ^.^ please review or I won't continue this! Feedbacks! Plz?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOD or the Nutcracker. I don't even know the exact story! I'm gonna make it up as I go, is that okay? 


	5. Lesson 4

Meru's Dancing Lessons  
  
Lesson 4: Nutcracker Part I  
  
A/N: Yay! Meru's Dancing Lessons on ice! Or not. ^^ nope, not on ice. But they are dancing in the chapter! A little, I think, meow.^^ Review? Plz? C'mon! or it's just gonna get sloppier and sloppier. Okey?!  
  
Thank you's to:  
  
Aerena: Whee! Nope. Shana not dead! :D.  
  
Anon: One word reviews don't really cut it, but glad u find it interesting!  
  
The mysterious one: Yupo. Meru's VERY happy person ^^.  
  
Kaylee: ^^ Thanks for the support! I'll think of more insane ideas for you to laugh at! Meow~ Dart's all yours!  
  
Red-eye Frenzy: I'll add you in as soon as I can, it might not be in for a couple chapters. Maybe after the play, okay? Or I'll put ya in for a couple of lines then you'll be back later.  
  
Vitan's Kitsune: Well, I'll take that as a compliment then? :D thanx for readin'!  
  
~~*~~*~~  
  
Meru: Yahoo! Everyone's dressed 'n ready to do some ballet!  
  
Dart: I want out.  
  
Kongol: Chicken.  
  
Albert: I didn't know you knew that word.  
  
Haschel: *chicken talk* Bawkbawk bawk bawk!  
  
Shana: This dress is too tight, puffy and fancy and too revealing.  
  
Rose: You're the one to talk.  
  
Meru: Oh well, too late. Muahahahaha! Now let's start dancing!  
  
Dart: ?.? so evil!!  
  
Miranda: You just noticed? Damn you're slow.  
  
Meru: Hmm. feels like I'm missing something.  
  
Dart: Cheeseburgers, I'll go buy some right now! *tries to run*.  
  
Shana: Not so fast Dart! *grabs Dart* You haven't even tried ballet.  
  
Dart: I WON'T LIKE IT!  
  
Albert: The situation is helpless. We cannot escape now that we are in costumes.  
  
Miranda: Who set that rule?  
  
Albert: Think about it, you go out dressed like Napoleon, it's bound to catch attention.  
  
Rose: Heh heh.  
  
Dart: Man, that is SO diss. I'm not short!  
  
Kongol: Dart short!  
  
Dart: Peh, against you everything's short.  
  
Kongol: .*about to punch Dart*  
  
Meru: I remember now! Ballet shoes! Hehee!  
  
Haschel: O.O Bawk?!  
  
Rose: *glare* who reminded her?  
  
Miranda: No way.  
  
Albert: Nope.  
  
Dart: She remembered by herself nitwits!  
  
Miranda: Whatever, Napoleon. kehehe *snort*!  
  
Dart: Not funny!  
  
Shana: *giggle*  
  
Meru: *magically produced 20 pairs of ballet shoes out of thin air* Voila!  
  
Haschel: How does she do that?  
  
Rose: Whatever. let's get it over with.  
  
Dart: Noooo! Nooo! Me no do ballet!  
  
Meru: Alrite! Places everyone! *snaps fingers* POOF! *stages props all set*.  
  
Haschel: :D How does she do that?  
  
Dart: People, don't ignore me!  
  
Meru: Okey everyone, put on those ballet shoes!  
  
Miranda: *picks one up* Euk. how old are these? And. they're sticky!  
  
Rose: Where did you get 'em huh? The dumpster?  
  
Meru: Whoops. These are the guy's ballet shoes. They're hard to get and expensive so I teleported some from the junkyard. I'll get the clean girly ones now. *snap* POOF! *shoes appear* here ya go! *twirl*  
  
Miranda: -.- They're pink.  
  
Meru: *getting mad* any more complaining and I'll give you the guy ones!  
  
Miranda: And pink, is like, my favourite!  
  
Rose: That sounded so wrong.  
  
Shana: We are lucky.  
  
Haschel: I'm doing a girl part, can I have the girl ones.  
  
Meru: sure, if you can fit in 'em.  
  
Dart and Albert: Not fair!!  
  
Haschel: ^.^ Heh heh heh.  
  
Meru: All set?  
  
Dart: Do we have to?  
  
Meru: Yup.  
  
Albert: *groan*  
  
Shana: I'm done! *tries to twirl* Whao! *falls down* Oww..  
  
Miranda: Ohmygawd that's hilarious! You are SO pathetic! *stands up* Look, I can stay on my feet! *imitates Shana* Lookey I won't fall over!  
  
Rose: Don't jinks it.  
  
Miranda: Heh heh! *tries to twirl*  
  
Meru: Stay AWAY from my stage props!  
  
Miranda: What - OFF! *falls straight into paper background* RIP! *the entire stage collapsed*  
  
Haschel: Ahahahhahhaahahahahhhaha!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Meru: I warned you! You've ruined my entire stage Miranda! Do the splits NOW!  
  
Miranda: B-b-b-b-b- but!!  
  
Dart: Thank goodness. The play has once again been destroyed.  
  
Meru: Don't count on it! Miranda ain't that important. So, *snaps and all stage props are fixed* let's begin!  
  
Miranda: B-b-b-b-but!  
  
Meru: Oh yea, YOU!  
  
Miranda: O.O  
  
Meru: Do the splits!  
  
Miranda: I can't!  
  
Meru: NOW!  
  
Miranda: Oh fine. But really, I can't.  
  
Meru: I don't care.  
  
Miranda: O.O *goes down 20 inches above ground*  
  
Meru: Lower!  
  
Miranda: O.O *19 inches*  
  
Meru: Whatever, I have other people to worry about. Kongol, help her!  
  
Miranda: O.O NO!  
  
Kongol: ^,^;;  
  
Albert: No, keep goin'. I'm enjoying this.  
  
Meru: Bite me! Now!  
  
Miranda: HEEELLLLPP MEEE!!!! *Kongol has the flat of his axe on Miranda's back to push her down, but somewhat blinded by the overflow dress and rat tail*  
  
Meru: *roll eyes and smile* As I was saying, we shall begin-  
  
Shana: Um, Meru?  
  
Meru: YES SHANA? *getting pisssed*  
  
Shana: None of us KNOW ANY moves in ballet, um.  
  
Meru: Your point?  
  
Dart: We can't dance.  
  
Meru: And - your - point - is?  
  
Haschel: ^.^ Whee.  
  
Rose: Forget it. Let's get it over with so I can go back to heaven.  
  
Albert: You were in heaven?  
  
Rose: Or hell, the same thing. Just follow the white light. *sigh*  
  
Miranda: Heeelllllppppppppp!!!  
  
Meru: *hyper* Alrity! Let's start. YAYYYY! *starts to dance*  
  
All: .  
  
Dart: What do I do again?  
  
Meru: um. Stand by the Christmas tree and act, soldierish.  
  
Dart: Riightht, in black spandex. *mutter* This is ridiculous. *stands by tree*  
  
Meru: Oh no! I'm missing a grandpa!  
  
Rose: Oh joy.  
  
Albert: We're missing people, let's not dance no more.  
  
Meru: Naw, let's just skip that part.  
  
All: *sigh*  
  
Haschel: why not skip the whole thing?  
  
Meru: Okey. Rose do a little dance towards Dart!  
  
Rose: What makes you think I'm actually going to do that?  
  
Meru: Cuz, *whisper whisper* if ya don't I'll say out loud that the dress is so short your panties are showing!  
  
Rose: O.O You wouldn't! *whisper whisper* really?  
  
Meru: Yup, just a bit. No one'll notice, if ya dance.  
  
Rose: -.- fine. *dances over to Dart*  
  
Dart: Whao! That was - *Rose accidentally kicks Dart when she does a backward leg lift* O.O  
  
Rose: Whoops. I broke the Nutcracker? *nervous laugh*  
  
Meru: No worries. *does a leap* it's suppose to happen.  
  
Dart: O.O spare me.  
  
Meru: Now Rose, act dramatic, like you're sorry, really sorry you broke the Nutcracker.  
  
Rose: *in monotone* I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't want to, poor Mr. Little Nutcracker. *roll eyes*  
  
Meru: More emotion! Plus a little dance!  
  
Rose: *waves arm* *in monotone* So sorry, very sorry, Little Nutcracker, I'm sorry. I'm so sad, you must be sad, we are all sad-  
  
Meru: MORE EMOTION! Or I'll. *glare*  
  
Rose: O.O Alrite! *cough* Ahem. *passionately* I'm so sorry Nutcracker! *flings head back* I didn't mean to! What am I ever to do! Forgive me!  
  
Meru: Much better! *claps* Now Dart, act broken.  
  
Dart: X.X  
  
Meru: But jerk a little.  
  
Dart: X.O  
  
Meru: Very nice! *Twirl* Okey Albert! You're up!  
  
Albert: Someone help me.  
  
Miranda: Hheeelllllppppp mmmmeee! *Now 12 inches from ground*  
  
Haschel: Whao. Now that's some stiff flexibility.  
  
Meru: Albert, er, I mean, Rat General! Charge Rose and the Nutcracker in dance style.  
  
Albert: Okay. *raises toothpick* CHARGE! *tackles Rose*  
  
Rose: OFF! X.X.  
  
Meru: Dance style idiot rat! Dance style! Not like you're trying to MURDER her! This is a play! Not football!  
  
Albert: ^.^;;; . sorry. *one rat ear fell off* Aaahhhh!! I'm gonna die. My ear fell off!!! *runs around like a lunatic* Help!!!! Call an ambulance! *gets tangled in rat tail, starts to hop*  
  
Haschel: ^^ such gracefulness.  
  
Meru: ^^ I agree. And I was about to pound his head off.  
  
Shana: I am enjoying this. But I haven't done anything yet.  
  
Meru: You will. ^^  
  
Rose: *just recovered* Where is that %$@/$?!?!?!?! I am going to KILL HIM! *sees Albert with one ear and hopping around* Oh. *snicker* never mind then.  
  
Shana: What about Dart?  
  
Meru: Still actin' broken I think.  
  
Dart: X.X.  
  
Meru: Jerk a little.  
  
Dart: X.O.  
  
~~*~~*~~  
  
A/N: Sorry! But I had to cut it off before it gets too long, plus I'm tired. Whatcha think? Okay? As you can see, I'm making it up as I go. Who doesn't? Don't forget to review. It ain't forced, but it'll be really nice ^^. No moose, no cheese, still funny rite??  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOD or the Nutcracker. So don't sue me if I messed it up. 


	6. Lesson 5

Meru's Dancing Lessons   
  
Lesson 5: Nutcracker Part II  
  
A/N: Oh, it's finally starting to get fun. Thanks to those who reviewed, love y'all ^.^. I'm not going to blab anymore, thank goodness. R&R, plz?  
  
Thank you's to:  
  
Red-Eyed Frenzy: Um.... oookay.... Helium? O.o Never really heard THAT before...  
  
Omni Dragon: Thanks! I'll try and make it even more funny then!  
  
Chozen1: Heh heh, yaw, that's one of the most craziest things i've ever thought of. I've had waaaay too much candy......  
  
Dragon's Lover1: Okay, so did u fall or not? Thats for the review!  
  
Letter-writer: Thanks jess, oh what a regular genious i am.... NOT! ^^;  
  
NOTE: Some of u may have reviewed but the review did not go through, the site site was having difficulties at the time, so it might of screwed up alittle. I thank u anyways, and hopes u keep reading!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Meru: Alrighty! Let's continue. Rose, scream!  
  
Rose: Yikes * rolls eyes *.  
  
Albert: Mommmyyy~~~me ear fell offff~~~~~~!!!!!!!  
  
Meru: Like that.  
  
Rose: * snickers * Yea right.  
  
Haschel: ^^ poor guy, he finally cracked up.  
  
Miranda: Sheesh. He's REALLY into his part isn't he?  
  
Albert: I'm going to be handicapped for the rest of me liffffeeee~~~  
  
Meru: Darn it Al, shut-up! * Sticks out a foot and trips the screaming, hopping one-eared Albert *  
  
Albert: Aiya! * Falls on the 'broken' Dart.  
  
Dart: Ow! Dude! Watch where ya fallin'!  
  
Meru: Dart! YOU'RE STILL BROKEN NO TALKING!  
  
Dart: Uh-oh x.x.  
  
Rose: This is going nowhere.  
  
Shana: It never was, was it?  
  
Meru: Rose! LISTEN TO ME!  
  
Rose: -.- yea what!  
  
Meru: I'm not going to repeat. You're a innocent gurl named Clara and you love the broken nutcracker you see rat general ya scream nutcracker come to your rescue you fight rats with toy army you win and nutcracker takes you to land of sweets got it?!  
  
Rose: Try pausing between sentences.  
  
Haschel: Try breathing too.  
  
Meru: GOT IT?!  
  
Rose: Yea whatever.  
  
Meru: Then play your part!  
  
Albert: *suddenly leaps up with flaming eyes, holds toothpick like a sword, still with one ear * CHARGE!!! * Charges Rose, AGAIN *  
  
Haschel: I like plays ^^.  
  
Rose: * punches Albert * DON'T YOU DARE! *  
  
Albert: O.O * Goes flying into the REAL Christmas tree, knocks it over and then falls on Dart *  
  
Dart: X.O * wheeze * someone help me~~  
  
Shana: Wow.  
  
Haschel: ^^;;; what an unusually fearsome innocent little girl. * Christmas tree falls on both Albert and Dart *.  
  
Albert and Dart: X.X  
  
Meru: Oh yay! * Smiles * Not exactly what I had in mind, but yea.  
  
Shana: But, you're not supposed to kill the nutcracker, remember?  
  
Miranda: How do you know it's not deliberate?  
  
Meru: Well, um, do something! Like a dance or something, Rose!  
  
Rose: Why me?  
  
Meru: 'cuz, you love the nutcracker!  
  
Rose: I DO not!  
  
Kongol: * drum roll and chimes are heard *  
  
Miranda: Where did he get the equipment?  
  
Haschel: Jingle bells, jingle bells, and jingle all the way! * Sings * oh what fun it is to kill people by squashin 'em with a tree, hey!  
  
Rose: Haschel, just shut-up!  
  
Shana: That's not nice!  
  
Meru: Oh whatever, I declare rat General and nutcracker dead. Now let's get on with the play.  
  
Miranda: Whoohoo \ . /  
  
Haschel: * dances o.o * me liddle cute plump fairy from the land of sweets. Bwhahaha~~ fly away to thee! Whee~~!  
  
Meru: * sigh * Kongol, put some scotch tape on his mouth.  
  
Meru: * smiles * Not your turn yet groups.  
  
Rose: Oh gawd.  
  
Meru: Whala~~ Dance Rosy dance!  
  
Rose: No WAY! I'm the only one who has done any dancing so far. I AM NOT dancing ANYMORE if no body ELSE is dancing.  
  
Meru: Okey ^^. Rat queen, bite her.  
  
Miranda: Grrr! * Charges Rose, the two of 'em fall wrestling on the ground *  
  
Dart: Oh damn, I think I broke me back * limps *  
  
Albert: X.X  
  
Kongol: * drum bell *  
  
Meru: And the nutcracker wins in the violent conflict with the rat General!  
  
Kongol: * pushes flashing lights button. *  
  
Shana: Whoa, my eyes.  
  
Drat: I feel like I'm in a disco.  
  
Miranda: * tries to bite Shana * die princess!  
  
Shana: Ahhhhhh!!!! * Runs away with Miranda chasing after her *  
  
Meru: Dancing! * Two starts dancing/running *  
  
Kongol: * turns off flashing lights *  
  
Rose: I am SO leaving! * Tries to leave * where the HELL is the door?!  
  
Meru: ^^ It's called 'magic', heehee ^^!  
  
Dart: * swoons * my back~~~ I broke my back~~* runs straight into screaming Shana and yellow fanged Miranda *  
  
Shane: oaf!  
  
Miranda: Mwha-ooF!  
  
Dart: * steps on Shana's dress *  
  
RIP!!!!!  
  
Shana: * screams * * pulls dress back up *  
  
Miranda: * chews on Dart's leg *  
  
Dart: O.O  
  
Haschel: O.O wmajewd!  
  
Meru: Dart you pervert! * Whacks him with hammer *  
  
Dart: *goes flying onto fallen tree * X.X  
  
Miranada: Great chicken leg, ymm.  
  
Phweew! KA-BOOM!  
  
Rose: WE are under attack! Run for cover!  
  
Albert: A BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMBBBBBB!!!!!  
  
Shana: Die Dart! How dare you look at my bra! * Pulls his hair *  
  
Dart: And thong! Oww! Leggo!  
  
Kongol: * takes scotch tape off Haschel's mouth *  
  
Haschel: And so you arrive at land of sweets~~ * sings * the place of chaos~~ * waves wand *  
  
Albert: * runs around * we're all going to DIE!!!  
  
Meru: Yay! Dancing! * Shoves Miranda *  
  
Miranda: Mwhah! * Bumps into Dart * whoops!  
  
Dart: * Runs into Shana * Ow!  
  
Shana: * falls onto Haschel and squished the fruit hat * Ew! Grape juice!  
  
Haschel: Show some respect! * Kicks Shana's butt *  
  
Shana: * trips face flat * X.X  
  
Albert: * trips on fallen Shana * X.X  
  
Rose: You idiots_ * Miranda charges her and the two begin to wrestle *  
  
Dart: * plows into Miranda* O.O  
  
Meru: * smile * and so they live happily ever after!  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CURTAINS FALL  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N: Oh yay! End of the play of the Nutcracker. Total chaotic ending, but I'm tired and I can't think straight. End of play, but not end of dancing lessons, so review and tell me what they should do next! ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOD. 


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